A HOLIDAY UNDER CANVAS-
IS IT REALLY MADNESSOR IS IT A TRULY ORGASMIC EVENT
This section is dedicated to Sarah, Steves wife, who in passing, requested that I put onto my website some of the experiences which are shared by people who feel that living under canvas is the way to go
I must say that all of these experiences have been, in my mind, er, "experiences" but if I were able to turn clocks back, time-travel or, without blushing, deny that I have ever camped in tentspeak vernacular, I would not change a single minute
Of course if you have someone who shares, and sticks with you through thick and thin it can be a doddle---
However if the first tiny spider, the first drop of rain or the first noisy night puts your companion (male OR female) right off, it can turn into a real nasty nightmare
A decision to try camping was made in my early courting days primarily to get a girl into a tent but also to save money to impress the girl in other ways
So I went to the local shop and invested in a two-man triangular tent which looked on the wrapping quite capable of performing as I required
When I got it home and tried it out on the lawn it was actually not much bigger than the dogs kennel and I could see his disdain as I struggled to build this canvas and metal tubed thing
It eventually became easy to erect, so we set out one weekend to see some motorcycle racing and because it was a two-day event "had" to stay away
We slept in it alright--That's ALL we could do because by the time we had installed our sleeping bags there was little room to do anything else
I rigged up effective lighting running from the car battery, had a large plastic bottle of water and had borrowed a gas stove on which we actually cooked meals
The stove was set up outside (no room inside) and except for a bit of smoke we actually managed steaks on a couple of occasions
The tent was romantically cosy with some special join-together sleeping bags, rugs and a warm groundsheet
So in this way we toured the race tracks of Great Britain, following the big names of the day
The time came when some of these big names graduated to racing in the continental circus
We managed to wangle a long holiday and set out for Dover to visit our idols at Spa, Assen and the circuits in between
The continental campsites were excellent but we also acquired passes and were able to camp in the race circuit paddocks, a new experience
We did this for a further consecutive two years but as it happened the girl and I eventually decided to go our separate ways
A new girlfriend came along and since our salaries had increased we were able to stay in hotels to follow the racing
(Yes this new girlfriend liked bikes thank heaven)
However we returned to UK racing with the ISLE OF MAN TT now our main priority and stayed in a seafront hotel with a group of friends
We got married and eventually became three when Simon came along
My wife, a nurse, worked strange hours so when Simon was old enough he and I decided to go weekend racing again leaving my wife at home to catch up on her sleep
We took the tent only once
The heavens opened and we ended up in the car leaving the tent looking very dejected, in a deep puddle.........
'Vauxhall Cavalier'
However this superb hatchback five door could be converted just by letting down the back seats
We could lay our sleeping bags on these flattened back seats, on our special warm, thick padded groundsheet with a miniportable TV on the back shelf and we were set
The car was draught proof and sound proof and we slept well
We visited Silverstone, Brands and Donington and the car stank of hotdogs
Our friends actually envied our method as they struggled to keep warm and dry in their tents
I talked to Simon a lot about the trips on the continent so the time came when we felt it was time to go as a threesome to see the sights
We now purchased a rather grand tent which could sleep a family and had eating and relaxing areas as well
Big, but "we" felt "we" could manage it
I carried out a series of dry runs on the back lawn and after one or two minor misshaps had the tent up
I had a few bits left over and by trial and error got then into place
Nice BIG tent
It collapsed into three large sack like containers which could just go on the roof rack
So the day came when we set out, this time to Sheerness to catch the magnificent 'Olau Hollandia' ferry
'Olau Hollandia'
This was to take us with the car to Vlissengen (Flushing) and the Dutch coast
It was a lovely crossing and we set out for our first camping site
The long day turned out to be an even longer evening as we searched in the dusk for the site
We were getting a bit ratty by now and all we wanted was sleep
We signed in and were allocated our spot for the night
It was nearly dark and I went to switch on our light to start erecting the tent
NO LIGHT
We pulled the tent off the roof rack and the contents of one sack tumbled into the grass
I struggled with the tent in a brisk wind trying not to take off and eventually collapsed into a real sagger of a fiasco
We just got into our bags and slept
Going to the loo during the night I was appalled and frightened by the selection of insects committing suicide in the lights
Frozen I crept back into my bag
We awoke to a cold morning and saw what a mess we had made of the tent
Most of the tent pegs were lying in the grass
The cross bar which should have stopped the sagging was still on the roof rack
Our lighting system had snagged on the boot lid and a wire had come loose
Humbled but having learned something I loaded up the car
Over the two weeks we were on holiday I became quite proficient
In fact we brought back more tent than we took
Clearly other people were like us but had left their lost items
Maybe the tent pegs I found on that first morning included some belonging to the previous occupants of our site
We certainly did not arrive on the continent with a porch to fit our tent
We took one home !!!!
And a spare cross bar
And a ground sheet
We noted that people who were probably more practised in tent erection than we were at the time used to smile that pitying smile, look skyward and say in their own language a word which sounds almost the same in every language and starts with an "S"
We didn't care--we were learning
We enjoyed our food which we obtained from the campsite restaurants
The wine was always good as was the beer and the coffee
IN THIS WAY WE SAW MOST OF GERMANY, HOLLAND, BELGIUM, FRANCE
and when there was such a place
EAST GERMANY
(see my section on BERLIN)
We camped in rain, in hail, in red hot weather and in bitterly cold weather
Thanks to quality sleeping bags we never had problems but had to hang on to the tent a couple of times when it was really windy
I still use the tent on occasions at race meetings and we have slept six in it at night and entertained eight seated friends during the day so large is the internal area
So I now come to the section of self appraisal and soul searching
1/ Buy a good tent but only as big as you need--Ours was perhaps too big for the job--Remember you will have to erect it in all conditions--Practice with it a few times
It is a pity I hadn't tried it out in a wind tunnel in the dark with bucketsful of water being thrown over me !!
2/ The stove and the mod cons I carried were really surfeit to our reqirements---There is plenty of food available on site and it is not expensive--It is fresh as well---Let them do the cooking and the washing up--You are on holiday !
3/ Make sure you have adequate lighting in the tent at night--My wires to the car battery always worried me in case it ran the battery flat during the night--Invest in a self-contained lantern
4/ Make sure the tent fly zip is lubricated and watersealed---It is offputting to need to visit the loo during the night and you find the zip is stuck
5/ Have a scraper mat outside the tent so no mud can be transferred into the sleeping area
6/ Store your shoes in a polybag so no animals can sleep in them overnight
7/ Keep jewelry in a bag in the sleeping area under your rugs etc
8/ Keep a small bottle of drinking water in the tent in case you wake up thirsty in the night---Some people keep a vaccuum flask of hot tea for this circumstance but hot tea spilt into your sleeping bag can scald
9/ One or two torches are useful when you need them especially when you have to go to the loo in the middle of the night----I received as a present an excellent 12v strip light which can also double as a torch--It uses a lot of batteries but I would not be without it
10/ Park the car parallel to the tent just close enough to the entrance to protect it---I attach tapes from the front and back of the car to the tent which is in case we have prowlers--This is very rare but it is just in case
11/ DO NOT LEAVE ANY VALUABLES IN THE CAR----In a Campingplatz it is rare that anything happens but be careful----
12/ Finally, enjoy this economic experience----some people are actually roughing it in hotels !---And you are there in the open air, sleeping on the hard ground, unable to see in the dark, breathing the snoring families stale air---Oh Great !
RIGHT THEN---ANY QUESTIONS
ASK IAN
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